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Channel: Bear Nuts by Alison Acton
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Happy Monday everyone! ONE MORE WEEK till school starts! The boys are getting rather sick of Jim and I skipping around and chanting that. They’re sooooo whiney.

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Evil flicked his eyes down to the fish and Prozac jolted himself back to the matter at paw. Operation: Drug the Stupid Lion was going about as well as he’d thought it would, blood and claw punctures and everything. He scooped up the slightly puddling fish (hope dissolution wouldn’t lower the drug efficacy too much) and plopped it into Evil’s outstretched paw. Prozac figured he would offer Lionel the fish as the peace offering they’d planned, but Evil proved his usual unpredictable self, and rammed it down Lionel’s throat instead.

Prozac gaped and Lionel’s body jerked, throat spasming and choked gurgles rasping out around Evil’s left arm as it sunk up to his shoulder. Damn, how deep was that?? Lionel started to thrash and Evil yelped. Prozac jumped on the lion’s back, trying to limit his movement and will some of his monster bulk into existence. He felt his body weight grow denser and Lionel started to flatten to the cave floor. Evil clamped his free paw over the lion’s nose and Lionel responded with a full body heave that brushed Prozac’s butt against the ceiling and caused Evil to screech. Prozac envisioned getting crushed and started to yell, “Why didn’t you just hand him the fish?! His guard was down!”

Evil’s breath was ragged and his brow furrowed, “Thought this would be faster!” And to his credit, it probably was. Perhaps they could erase the memory of this moment in the Crack Zone, Mindscape, whatever. 

Lionel slowly stopped thrashing and the gurgles died to an acceptable level, which was an ominous category that he wasn’t happy defining, but whatever. They were all in at this point. He took his frustration out on Evil, “I think you can take your arm out now, idiot.”

Evil grimaced. “Solid plan P. Gonna have to decline though.” Prozac snarled and Evil growled right back, “Not being obstinate! I think his right incisor is stuck in my bicep.”


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